Advent With Children

“Please don’t say we need to color this candle purple too.”

That was the report from one of my second grade students as we worked through the Advent calendar coloring sheet for Advent Week 3, which occurred last Sunday, the third Sunday of Advent.

There was a palpable sense of relief when she discovered that it was time to switch to the pink colored pencil, and several other students quietly shouted “yay” as they quickly re-boxed their violets in exchange for rose colored writing utensils.

Their shout for joy was perfectly placed, as I went on to tell them that the pink candle is called “The Joy Candle” and is lit and celebrated on “Gaudete” Sunday, as gaudete is the Latin word for rejoice. Immediately, one child spoke up: “I bet it’s joy because that’s the feeling that Mary had when she knew she was going to have a baby.” Another retorted, “no she was afraid; that’s why the angel had to explain to her that she didn’t need to be afraid.” The first child came back with, “Then why do we sing ‘Joy to the World’ at Christmas?” 

Kids pay attention to more than we think they do.

Parents, Christian educators, and youth ministers have a great opportunity to use the season of Advent to teach children key concepts of the Christian faith. The confession of sin in preparation for the coming Messiah, the need for a prophetic witness, and of course, the need for a Savior to come and to die, and then to rise from the grave and defeat the power of sin and death. But on the third week of Advent, I like to focus on the biblical concept of Joy.

Nothing on earth can ever give us complete and total joy. This is a truth that I like to begin imparting to children as soon as they are able to understand the meaning of those words. In a culture of excess, of disposable and replaceable things, and of child targeted marketing, most kids 5 years old and up search for the experience of joy in things. Many adults do this too, but it seems especially prevalent among children. But children also uniquely understand the fleeting nature of happiness with those very things they think will make them happy. Recounting Christmas and birthday presents from the past and recognizing how quickly they have grown tired of them, or often their failing to even remember them are eye opening demonstrations of the relentless nature of “want” and how it fails to satisfy.

The Third Sunday in Advent’s candle is sometimes called “Shepherds Candle”, as it is meant to reflect that feeling of the shepherds after they heard the news from the angels and immediately did what the angels said: they sought the Christ child, and upon seeing him, they worshipped, and went rejoicing into the surrounding areas sharing that joy with others. 

I also like to quickly establish the difference between joy and happiness, and comparing and contrasting these two ideas is not too difficult for even children as young as 5 years old.  Children recognize the ability to be sad or troubled and in an instant, be transported into a state of joy. They also can understand, at least in part, the paradox of knowing both joy and sadness simultaneously.

This what J.R.R. Tolkien called “Eucatastrophe” – a joyful turn. Tolkien talked about this in the context of story, and of how, in the midst of what seems like a certain end in doom, a hero is saved at last, resulting in a feeling of overwhelming joy. 

Sharing the story of the announcement of the birth of Christ to the shepherds is a particularly great way to show the transformative power of joy – a mighty king, come to earth in a lowly manger, whose coming was foretold but first announced to lowly shepherds. This is the heart of the Christmas story. In his first advent, Christ comes to a world of darkness and confusion, amidst a people who had not heard the word of the Lord for centuries. And he comes in the most unlikely way, the least “safe” way. And he escapes the slaughter of infants that Matthew tells us about in his Gospel (Matt 2:16-18). The resurrection story is also a Eucatastrophe. Our ability to share in that joy each Easter is why the ancient truth of “He is risen” never gets old. Joy always comes with the drama of surprise.

Kids love hands on projects. Anything physical will ultimately engage them better and for longer than something abstract. Advent is a great time to bring some physical elements to the table and let them play and work with the elements as a way of understanding their symbolic nature.

A wreath and some candles go a long way for children. Due to obvious safety concerns, fire and children tend to not mix very often in the modern world. But as the sole source of light other than the sun for the ancients, fire has always represented the presence of a gift – the gift of heat and light, always to be handled with care and respected. There is a sense of awe in the handling of fire. (Safely) lighting some candles and reading passages of Scripture are ways to engage children in both passive and active learning. And the process teaches practice, in particular, the Advent practice of waiting.

Just as Advent is not a season to be skipped for adults, it’s a worthy time of spiritual development to be shared with the youngest among us. Taking the time to pray, to think about those who have less than us and share in the bounty God has given us, to read and memorize Scripture, to reflect upon the Light of the Nations coming into our darkness and sadness, these are all worthy paths to walk upon with the children that God has put into our lives.