As Christians, we tend to have a complicated relationship with our emotions. I think it is fair to say that everyone has a difficult time navigating their feelings, but Christians seem to be affected at a different level. Our body, mind, and spirit are often locked in a battle for dominance and it is hard to sort out who is winning in any given moment. 

As the Apostle Paul said in Romans 7:15, “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” We want to have better control over our emotions, but we can’t simply turn them off. This is a natural pitfall to stumble into because we typically see things as black and white when they are actually in full color. 

We also love to compartmentalize things, particularly our emotions. We have a category for the good emotions, like love, joy, and peace, and then we have a category for the bad emotions, like anger, anxiety, fear, and sadness. Yet, if we search through the Bible, we will find that there are situations where each of these emotions are seen as both good and bad. It is possible to love the wrong things and to love things disproportionately. We are told to fear not, but also to fear the LORD. We are expected to be angry, and sin not. We are commanded to rejoice in all things, but also warned against those who rejoice in folly. The only way that we can persist in categorizing our emotions in our neatly defined parameters is if we ignore wherever the Bible doesn’t fit within our preconceived notions. 

No. If we are going to have a healthy relationship with our emotions, it is going to require us to think biblically about how God is calling us to bring our feelings into alignment with Christ. This means we are going to need to ask ourselves some tough questions and scrutinize our emotions. 

UNDERSTANDING THE NUANCES OF EMOTIONS

In order to understand how we are to relate to our emotions as Christians, we have to step back and look at the big picture. The Bible is full of examples, but nowhere are they more prominent and obvious than in the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Philippians. It has been labeled the “letter of joy”, but it also references love and peace. For any of our astute readers, you may recognize that those are the first three emotions listed in the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). Paul also covers a number of negative emotions here in Philippians, such as sorrow, anger, grumbling, and the big one, anxiety. 

When I was growing up, I remember being taught Philippians 4:5, “Do not be anxious about anything…” and being confronted with the weight of that command. On the surface, it is saying exactly what it means. We should not be anxious about anything. Jesus said as much in the Sermon on the Mount, “Do not be anxious about your life…” (Matthew 6:25). But does that mean that anxiety is to be avoided? Or is it something that we should seek to understand? 

The emotions in this text are described in two different ways: emotions that happen to us and emotions that are commanded of us. Notice how it begins, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice” (Philippians 4:4). This is a command, implying that we will need to choose to rejoice in whatever circumstance we are in. But then, just a few verses later it says, “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7). This implies that the peace of God is something that happens to us and is beyond our ability to understand or even control. 

The nuance here is important to understand because all emotions can fall into these two categories. Anxiety serves as a great example. There are times when we are overwhelmed by our emotions, but then there are other times where we induce the emotions based on the choices that we make. We can obsess over things we have no control over and therefore make ourselves anxious for nothing. 

GETTING FAMILIAR WITH OUR EMOTIONS

If all we did was look at the command in Philippians 4:5, “Do not be anxious about anything…” and treated it like something to avoid, we would constantly be entrenched in a war between our mind, body, and spirit. Instead, we need to understand the emotions that overwhelm us and address the root and the cause so that we can harness them for our good. 

The first thing that we need to recognize is that anxiety is a natural response. In Philippians 2, we see the Apostle Paul addressing how he felt about Timothy and Epaphroditus. Timothy is described as having a genuine concern for the welfare of the believers in Philippi (Philippians 2:20). This concern is modeled after the example of Christ who considered other’s needs as greater than His own (Philippians 2:3). But the word that Paul uses to describe Timothy’s concern is the same Greek word that is translated ‘anxiety’ in Philippians 4:5. 

Then, when Paul describes the near death experience of Epaphroditus, he says that God spared him from experiencing, “Sorrow upon sorrow” (Philippians 2:27), and that he was eager to send him back to Philippi so that he, “May be less anxious” (Philippians 2:28). In other words, Paul was well acquainted with anxiety. 

We can also look at the example of Christ. It might be difficult for us to wrap our minds around Jesus being anxious, but we have to remember that He became flesh and blood, experiencing the full range of human emotions. Jesus wept at the graveside of His friend Lazarus (John 11:35). He acted in anger when He overturned the tables in the temple because they were profiting off the worship of God (Matthew 21:12-13). He even wrestled with God when He was in the Garden of Gethsemane the night before He was crucified as He prayed, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will” (Matthew 26:39). 

HARNESSING OUR EMOTIONS 

Let’s be clear. Paul is not saying that anxiety or our other emotions are in themselves a sin. He is addressing how our feelings affect us and how we can bring them into alignment with Christ and His Word. 

First, Paul tells us to pray. When we are anxious, we should bring our requests before God. This teaches us the discipline of entrusting to God the things that affect us the most. This is where the Book of Psalms is so helpful in giving us prayers that touch on the full spectrum of our emotions. When we are happy, we give thanks to God with songs of praise and thanksgiving. When we are sad, the songs of lament can help us to bring our sorrows to Him as well. Even when we are angry, we can turn to the imprecatory prayers that help us frame our feelings in a biblical way. This might make us feel uncomfortable, but it is helpful for us to process our emotions safely. God can handle us when we are at our worst. The most important thing to do in those situations is not to suppress our feelings and avoid our emotions, but to bring them to the one who can help us sort them out. 

Secondly, we need to realize that some of our negative experiences with our emotions are self induced. We can avoid a lot of unwanted stress if we would take better control of our habits, thoughts, and surroundings. We should prioritize healthy behaviours like eating well, getting rest, and working efficiently without procrastinating. We should order our affections rightly, not treasuring the gifts over the giver, thereby providing boundaries that protect us and the things we love from unrealistic expectations. We should bring all of our thoughts captive, not allowing our imagination to run wild with our emotions, but thinking about the right things, “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8). 

Finally, we can invest our energy into things that will provide enduring joy through any and every circumstance. A bowl of ice cream will make me happy in the moment, but it’s lasting ability to extend my happiness until tomorrow is short lived. However, if I share that ice cream with someone else, I can build into my life a relationship that will continue to provide reasons to celebrate for eternity. Often the things we turn to in order to escape working through the emotions that are troubling us become our obsessions and draw our affections away from doing what we know is right. 

For those who feel like prisoners to their emotions, I want to encourage you to reach out to someone trustworthy. Talk to a pastor or a therapist. Whatever you do, do not do it alone. We are expected, as Christians to, “Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). One way that we mature in our emotions is by sharing them with others, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15). Be patient. Trust in God and His timing in your life. Christ began this work in you and He will complete it (Philippians 1:6). If we are going to have a biblically based relationship with our emotions, it is going to require that we have a nuanced understanding of them, a familiarity with how they affect us, and a holistic approach to harness them for our own development and for the good of others.