(continued from March 2009)
SVEN AND HULDA, a Scandinavian couple, were Christians. They sang in the choir, they were at Sunday school every Sunday, they had prayer at every meal, they went to all the church functions. But they could not get along. At home, it was terrible: bickering, complaining, fussing. After both of them had devotions one morning, separately, of course, Hulda said to Sven, “You know, Sven, I been tinking. I got de answer to dis hopeless problem we’re livin wit. I tink ye should pray for de Lord to take vun of us home to be with Him. And then, Sven, I could go live wit my sister.” —Bruce Larson, Believe and Belong
That is not the picture God gives of a Christian marriage; in fact Ephesians 5:25 reminds us that Christian marriage is a symbol of Christ and His Church. We have been studying the song of Solomon to demonstrate how to fulfill that high standard. In the March newsletter, I pointed out that we were using the dramatic view to interpret the song of Solomon (The love between the Shulamite woman and the Shepherd lover and the forces that failed to destroy their love. See the March newsletter for the other methods of interpretation). We noted that when it is Right man – Right woman, she completes the Right man – “you’re the horses – I am the chariots.” That is, I am complete because of you. Adam is incomplete in himself lacking a suitable mate until Eve is created to complete and fulfill his capacity for human companionship (Genesis 2:18 – 22). This, by the way, is the reason that the death of a partner is so difficult – that sense of being complete is lost and now there must be an expulsive power of a new affection to deal with grief. That means discovering personally the new plan God has in mind, in which Romans 15:32 will result.
“ so that I may come to you with joy by the will of God, and may be refreshed with you.”
Jennifer Sands lost her husband in the twin Towers during 9/11. Her testimony is available from Songtime on CD. Discover how she dealt with the loss.
II. When it is Right Man – Rright Woman, she manifests great Inner Beauty
“I am very dark, but lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, like the tents of Kedar, like the curtains of Solomon. Do not gaze at me because I am dark, because the sun has looked upon me. My mother’s sons were angry with me; they made me keeper of the vineyards, but my own vineyard I have not kept!” Song of Solomon 1:5-6
The Shulamite woman had been in the vineyards. Too much sun and no protection, thus the physical attractiveness was veiled. But as you read song of Solomon chapter 1, you will discover she had great Inner Beauty. “O thou fairest among women” states verse 8. See this developed in verses 15 – 16. A person is in trouble when lust is substituted for love. What will you do when you move into later years and not even Botox is the solution. I know couples who were more in love in their 60s and 70s than they when were first married. Inner Beauty has been developed over the many years! The classic on this is 1 Peter 3:1. No doubt this is a picture of a Christian wife living with an unsaved husband. It could well be both were unbelievers when married. The wife heard the Gospel, responded, and now she comes home to an unsaved husband. It is a shock to the husband, when it is church and not cocktail parties! Christ and not clothes! Peter says – “be quiet and live the Christian life.” That means using the divine operating assets known as the filling of the Holy Spirit (see Ephesians 5:18 – 21). You can now demonstrate first Corinthians 13. Check what is possible under the control of the Spirit according to 1 Corinthians 13 and 1 John 4:
GOD IS LOVE.
May you have this kind of love for each other.
LOVE IS PATIENT AND KIND.
May you be able to lovingly overlook each others’ faults and weaknesses.
LOVE IS NOT JEALOUS OR BOASTFUL.
May you seek praise for each other and not for yourselves.
LOVE IS NOT ARROGANT OR RUDE.
May you give of yourselves for each others’ needs and treat one another with utmost respect.
LOVE DOES NOT INSIST ON ITS OWN WAY.
May you genuinely listen to each other with a willingness to be wrong yourselves.
LOVE IS NOT IRRITABLE OR RESENTFUL.
May you be tolerant of each others’ moods, always ready to forgive, never holding a grudge.
LOVE DOES NOT REJOICE AT WRONG BUT REJOICES IN RIGHT.
May you experience happiness because of each others triumphs and successes.
LOVE BEARS ALL THINGS.
May you seek to understand each others’ differences knowing you will stick together through it all.
LOVE HOPES ALL THINGS
May you always expect the best in each situation regardless of temporary setbacks.
LOVE ENDURES ALL THINGS
May you never give up your commitment to work on improving your relationship.
LOVE NEVER ENDS
May you spend the rest of your lives together enjoying His love. GOD IS LOVE.
Application In his “Be” series, Warren Wiersbe offers questions based upon what Peter wrote in chapter 3 of his first letter:
1. Are we partners or competitors?
2. Are we helping each other become more spiritual?
3. Are we depending on the externals or the eternals? The artificial or the real?
4. Do we understand each other better?
5. Are we sensitive to each other’s feelings and ideas, or taking each other for granted?
6. Are we seeing God answer our prayers?
7. Are we enriched because of our marriage, or robbing each other of God’s blessing?
Honest answers to these questions might make a difference!