Dr. Donald Grey Barnhouse was approached one day by a homeless person who asked for money. Dr. Barnhouse handed him some money and with the comment, “If you are sincere I give this to you with the blessing of God. If you are insincere I give this to you with the curse of God.” The man gave the money back. One thing was evident. He didn’t want to take on God. This man had more sense than many. Picture a couple standing at the altar and repeating the words, “I do promise and covenant before God and these witnesses to be loving and faithful, in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live.” I fear that many fail to recognize the seriousness of these vows.
Never forget the Acts 5 account of Ananias and Sapphira. Acts 5:3 states that they lied to the Holy Spirit and the result was a premature funeral. Think about that when you say, “Take my life and let it be consecrated Lord to thee. Take my silver and my gold, not a mite would I withhold.”
During the years I have been in ministry, I have conducted at least 200 weddings and as far as I know, there have been only three divorces. One of the reasons is due to the warning, “God and these witnesses.” Don’t take it lightly. The other reason is probably due to the fact I always explain what the Bible says about recognizing Right man – Right woman. That takes us to the song of Solomon. There are several methods used in interpreting this poem of love. The allegorical, i.e., the love relationship between God and his chosen people. The typical – i.e., the love between Christ and the church. The literal view – a poem extolling human love. There is a fourth method of interpreting the poem of love - the dramatic.
I have usually used the dramatic view, which is the love between the Shulamite woman and the Shepherd lover, and Solomon, who tried to destroy that relationship. He failed. Why? From that answer we can discover the characteristics of Right man – Right woman, which we will begin this month and conclude next month. Note the following:
When it is Right man – Right woman she completes the “Right man”
“I have compared thee, O my love to a company of Horses in Pharaohs chariots.” Song of Solomon 1:9
Don’t tell your wife or your bride to be that she reminds you of a horse! Battle stations will result. Here’s the idea. “I am the chariots – you’re the horses.” That is, as a result of knowing and loving you, I am a better person – I am complete! I have purpose. After all, the chariots are unable to function without the horses.
My question before a wedding ceremony would be, “Are you growing in grace or groaning in disgrace as a result of the relationship? Tell me – how do you know your relationship is the will of God?” If it is the will of God you will be happy regardless of whether the first dinner is a Marie Callendar frozen dinner or one of her mother’s best recipes. You won’t be like the man who married the woman because she was an accomplished pianist. Then the night came along with several facial creams and hair curlers. In amazement he looked at her and said – “hurry – get up and play that piano.” That is not a “Right man - Right woman” scenario. In the Will of God, Romans 15:32 always results:
“So that if it is God’s will I may come to you with a happy heart to see you and have a refreshing rest while with you.” (Williams translation from the original Greek)
During the years in the pastorate, I visited many homes in Roxbury Massachusetts just above the poverty level. But the marriages were happy since they depended not on things, but the will of God. Hear it – and parents teach it! This starts on the date life. When it is Right man - Right woman the date includes a time of Bible study and devotions. This kind of dedication to divine viewpoint prepares them to discover how to live the Christian life, which involves Promises, Problems, and Provision. Let me explain. The Bible is filled with hundreds of promises. Study them and apply them. Then God does the unusual to determine if we understand the promises. He allows problems. Which then leads to Provision or the full use of divine operating assets such as 1 Peter 5:7, Romans 10:17, Ephesians 5:18 and 1 John 1:9.
First Peter 1:7 is a summary of Promises, Problems, and Provision. “That the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ ..”
Many parents have said to me over the years – “I fear that my son or daughter’s partner is not someone with a saving faith.” My reply has always been, “Suggest that they take turns leading Bible study and devotions.” You can know religion, but you can never know relationship with God without the Holy Spirit. You can’t fake 1 Corinthians 2:12: “For God unveiled them to us through His Spirit, for the Spirit by searching discovers everything, even the deepest truths about God.” (William’s translation)
My cousin, Dr. Robert Clark, went to be with the Lord Sunday morning, January 18. We were raised together and were as close as brothers. Bob’s first wife, Ruth, died from cancer, and so did his second wife Betty. Betty knew him from Houghton College, but she wasn’t sure of his fellowship with the Lord, so she gave him the 1 Corinthians 2:12 test when he proposed. She said, “Are you willing to go to prayer meeting Wednesday nights, and church Sunday morning and evening, and are you prepared to have a daily Bible study?” For someone who had enjoyed a very successful medical practice in Rochester, NY, and also was a professor at the University of Rochester medical school this was a test. She knew about his full schedule and involvement with the social activities of several country clubs. So she wondered! He immediately agreed. Although our Dutch roots made him more impulsive than me (that’s probably not true. I may be worse), Betty and Bob had a wonderful marriage and today they are both discovering Philippians 1:23 “to depart and be with Christ which is far better.”
We will continue this article in a future Newsletter: When it’s Right man - Right woman she manifests great Inner Beauty. Also what to do if you’re married to a “lemon.” We’ll have fun with that one!